Pros and Cons of Being Unemployed
Pros:
- You can sleep until 1 PM if you feel like it.
- Once you get up, you can wear sweat pants and a t-shirt. Hell, you can wear the same thing you wore yesterday if you want!
- There are no bosses to tell you re-type something that has already been typed once on the computer, but now lost due to a “misplaced” email.
- Your commute from your bed to your computer is now approximately five minutes, the length of time required to perform your morning ablutions, including the time spent looking up “morning ablutions” on Google.
- You save water, gas, and electric on laundry by simply wearing the same thing for two days in a row. You can save even more water if you skip showering every day, but thus far I have not sunk so low.
- You now have the world at your feet, being free to schedule appointments during the day with electricians, plumbers, doctors, and go to the post office or do all those things that regular people have to do on Saturdays or not until vacation. (Because you’re so busy sleeping in, you may find that you end up doing none of these things and saving them for a Saturday, but still. The option exists. And isn’t life really just about options?)
- You save money on food. Two large meals a day will suit you just fine, instead of the traditional three meals a day. Who needs three meals when you get up after lunch?
- Additionally, meal planning becomes easier. You’d be surprised at how filling potato chips and ice cream are for lunch.
- Your work consists of listening to samples of William Hung’s new album, and wondering if people will really buy it. And if they do, why?
- Did I mention you can sleep in?
Cons:
- No paycheck.
- Sometimes you can’t remember how to talk to anyone who isn’t a dog, thus leading to uncomfortable conversations like, “Aw, who’s a good person! Who’s a good person! YOU are…Mister HVAC Repair Guy! Yes, you! Did you want me to pay by check or is credit card okay? Because the check is going to bounce.”
Posted by: ssjane | April 6, 2004 | 5:51 pm
Posted in: Rants