Night Talk
Last night I was wide awake and hoping to fall asleep soon when Chris started to sling his arm over me.
“Just a second, I gotta fix myself,” I said, trying to adjust the blankets around me.
“I’ll fix you,” he purred.
I figured he was making one of his usual double entendre jokes that made no sense (sample: “I need to get new pants” “Yeah, I’ll give you new pants, baby” accompanied by some pelvic air thrusting) and was prepared to ignore him.
Then he added, “Just get your tubes tied.”
WHAT?!?!
For good measure, and because I was pretty sure he hadn’t learned to read my mind yet, I said it out loud.
“WHAT?!?!?”
Chris curled comfortably around me. “You know,” he said. “Like a dog.”
Before I had time to digest this, he said, very happily, “Dogs get spayed and neutered all the time. You can, too.”
Luckily I realized Chris must be asleep, or he would have gotten into trouble. I started giggling.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“You are. Are you even going to remember this conversation tomorrow?”
He yawned. “Probably not,” he admitted. “But you can tell it to me, and it will be a funny story.”
The next day, we were at Home Depot when I remembered to tell him what had happened.
He listened in growing disbelief, and eventually interrupted me.
“You’re making that up,” he said.
“I swear I’m not. My imagination’s not this good. I couldn’t make this stuff up!”
“Why would I tell you to get your tubes tied?”
“I don’t know, but it seemed to make sense to you.” I thought about the conversation. “Actually, you seemed really cheerful about the idea. I think your subconscious is telling you not to have children.”
“Maybe,” he said doubtfully. “But I think you’re just lying and making fun of me.”
“Maybe,” I said. “But if I get my tubes tied, you better not compare me to a dog again.”
Posted by: ssjane | September 9, 2004 | 10:36 pm
Posted in: This Life