by Augusten Burroughs
ONE LINE SUMMARY: The hosts at Sellevision Retail Broadcasting Network endure affairs, terminations, and weddings.
Had this been published a few years later and given some strategic chapter editing, it would have been promoted (and sold rather successfully) as chick lit.
I didn’t know anything about this book before I read it, other than that it was fiction, but I found it surprisingly light-hearted and enjoyable. I finished the whole book in one sitting, and was amused by the similarity to QVC, which I toured once and where my sister-in-law currently works.
by Sara Douglass
ONE LINE SUMMARY: Axis finally meets his half-brother, Gorgrael, in a battle to determine who shall be God.
I finally figured out why I keep reading these. These books are the literary equivalent of soap operas. You read them to find out what happens next, and not necessarily because you like the characters or the dialogue.
This book, in particular, was frustrating to read because whoever copyedited this edition evidently felt the same way about it as I did, and skipped over vast chunks. There is a lot of missing punctuation in this edition, and that pretty much sealed the deal on the series for me. I won’t be looking for the next 3 books, but I’ll probably check out the reviews on Amazon.com to find out what happened.
by Elizabeth E. Wein
ONE LINE SUMMARY: After the death of her father and twin brother and disappearance of her older half-brother, Goewin must travel to Aksum to determine who shall be the next king of Britain.
Another great book by Wein. This one offers no torture or incest, but I still think these should be adult books. The writing is subtle and careful, and I can’t wait for her to come out with more.
by Ruth Rendell
ONE LINE SUMMARY: The people who pass through an antiques shop have close ties to a serial killer in London, nicknamed The Rottweiler.
On page 2 of this 339 page book, I made my first and only guess as to who the killer was. (It was the sentence, “Carefully, he replaced his cup and saucer on the tray.” Somehow the word “carefully” made me suspicious.)
On page 104, Rendell tells us who the killer is. I was right. I was also so surprised to be told about the killer that I continued reading the rest of the book only because I was wondering whether she was going to do something else surprising. She didn’t.
I didn’t really enjoy this. I didn’t see the point of being told who the killer was, and his figuring out why he killed was uninteresting. Nothing really happens, even with the inclusion of a chapter at the end quickly summarizing what happens with all the characters. Ho-hum.
Yesterday I spent my lunch hour raking dead grass from our lawn.
Today I realized I was old and that my back hurt.
As a direct result of the latter and indirect result of the former, I was fully prepared to finish an entire episode of the “Morning Yoga Show” before cooking my dinner tonight.
I grabbed the yoga mat which Chris had bought for me last Christmas, which had been serving primarily as a dustcatcher under the coffee table since that time. I unrolled it, laid it on the ground and turned on the TV.
The program began with some easy stretches, which I was relieved to see because my only other foray into yoga had been when I’d been trying to imitate something complicated on the TV, while Chris sat on the couch and offered unsolicited opinions about how I was doing it all wrong.
I lay down on the mat and pulled one leg to my chest. Onscreen, a solemn man of uncertain racial background performed the same routine while the narrator intoned what sounded like “bed wet to chest.” After the narrator repeated this several times, I finally figured out that he was saying, “bent leg to chest,” but still couldn’t help giggling every time he said “bed wet.”
Music that was probably supposed to be soothing played over the narration, but I wasn’t feeling very soothed. For one thing, Mina and Flacko were eating, and Mina kept trying to bring her kibbles from the bowl to my yoga mat. Apparently she thought I needed a quick pick-me-up.
Meanwhile, Paco watched suspiciously from the couch. This type of behavior was so out of the ordinary for me that Paco felt he needed to keep an eye on me. For once, dinner could wait.
Next I performed a twisting sort of stretch while still on my back. Unlike the man on the screen, who appeared to be doing yoga on a deserted beach at sunset, I had limited room and kept hitting my arms on the bottom of the recliners as I waved them from side to side. And I also had a Flacko, who was now pressed up against my armpit, trying to figure out what I was doing and how he could best assist me.
Despite the mat I could still feel the hard floor beneath me, and things didn’t improve when the man grabbed his toes and pulled one of his legs straight up into the air. I started to try this, but decided a hurt back was better than no back, and gave up on holding my toes and just grabbed my knee instead. The man’s leg onscreen was a straight line, whereas mine looked like it was playing a game of Twister all by itself.
The next stretch was named Cat Stretch, and as I arched my back, Mina came over to the mat and did Dog Stretch, which looked infinitely more graceful.
Mysteriously, the man on the screen was suddenly joined by an older woman, and together the two of them started doing lunges. Paco didn’t like these, and did a workout of his own by jumping up and growling fiercely at me every time I lunged.
By the time I got to the Mountain poses, I was getting bored, and so were the dogs. Paco was lying with his head resting on his front paws on the couch, and Flacko was curled up in a blanket on the recliner by the window. Mina was on our big leather chair, surrounded by three or four toys, and barking at me incessantly. If I could do all this exercise, then I could darned well throw the chickie around for her!
“I’m almost done, Bean,” I told her. I picked up the remote and was gratified to see that I’d completed fifteen minutes of the program. That meant I was halfway–wait. The program was an HOUR long?
Fifteen minutes of yoga was plenty. Heck, I was feeling relaxed already — especially now that I’d turned off the TV.
by Tanith Lee
ONE LINE SUMMARY: In the sequel to The Silver Metal Lover, Silver returns as Verlis, and Loren discovers the truth about Jane’s Story.
I was simultaneously looking forward and dreading this book, because while I wanted to see the continuation of Jane’s story, I was afraid anything new would spoil my memory of the first book.
Tanith Lee does a good job with making this different, but I still wasn’t very happy with the ending of this book. I feel this book needs a sequel more than The Silver Metal Lover did, plus…none of the protagonists are particularly admirable.
by Elizabeth George
ONE LINE SUMMARY: Acting Superintendent Thomas Lynley deals with a serial murderer and his wife’s pregnancy, while recently-demoted Barbara Havers grapples with her neighbor’s treatment of his child.
Wow. Just, wow. I never, ever, in my life could have predicted what was going to happen in this book, and I’m not even talking about the mystery part of the plot. The mystery is gripping, but after about 2/3 of the book, something happens which makes the mystery secondary to the characters. This is a sign of how good George’s writing is, that she can make characters become so real that you forget about anything else.
I stayed up all night finishing this, and was bawling by the end and quite depressed. Then I got more depressed when I realized I had finished the book on the anniversary of my Pedro’s death.
I’m recommending this book, but with reservations. Make sure to finish reading it while it’s still daylight out, so you don’t stay up all night weeping.
by Louis Slobodkin
ONE LINE SUMMARY: Marty quickly tours London in a few hours, accompanied by Eddie and his Grandmother.
Alas, this is the last of the series that I own. I think there are at least 2 more books, but I haven’t found them yet to buy.
by Alexander McCall Smith
ONE LINE SUMMARY: In the sixth book in the series, Mma Ramotswe deals with the return of her (ex) husband, a new employee, and a new development for her able assistant.
I enjoyed this as much as the previous outings. The “mysteries” aren’t very mysterious, but the satisfying coziness and friendliness of the characters and location more than make up for that.