My Computer Is Laughing Quietly At Me

I went to the library today to return a few magazines and books that were due. Sadly, none of the books on my “To Read” list were available, so I read a few magazines while I waited for the librarians to check in the items I’d returned.

I’ve had a few problems with a certain worker in the library, who once put a book I’d returned on a cart for re-shelving without bothering to check it back in. I’ve also had some other problems with returning books only to find out, days later, that no one ever checked the books back in and it was essentially my word against theirs. So now I skulk around the library and covertly check my account in the computer system, over and over again, until I see that all my books are marked as being returned.

Since the problem worker was on duty today, I didn’t want to leave the library until all my items were in the system as returned. After I finished an issue of Consumer Reports and another issue of Time Magazine, I wandered around the new CDs.

I eyed Rilo Kiley, which I’d heard about, but decided not to borrow it since I couldn’t remember what I’d actually heard. There was also a new Aimee Mann CD which I picked up. I had listened to some of the new songs on her website a while ago and not been terribly taken with them, but for free, I was willing to give them another shot. Then I saw a new CD by The Mountain Goats. Now I was impressed. I didn’t know who was buying the CDs for the library, but The Mountain Goats? Pretty obscure for a library of this size.

I picked up the CDs and after looking up my account in the system and finding all my items marked as returned, I checked them out along with a kids’ DVD of songs by They Might Be Giants.

Once in the car, I popped in the Mountain Goats CD and listened to the first three songs on my drive home. Not bad–maybe I’d listen to the rest on my computer while I downloaded the latest doggie pictures from our digital camera.

I put the CD into the D drive of my computer. I hadn’t used the CD drive in a while, but I dimly seemed to remember that music CDs would start themselves once they were loaded. Nothing happened.

I opened up RealPlayer. A barrage of ads hit me, and it took me a while to find a button to press that would allow me to play the CD. I clicked on “Play CD” and more nothing continued to happen.

Now it was time to bring in Tech Support.

I IM’d Chris.

taterjane: i just want to play a cd in the computer, why is this so freaking hard?!

Cjay: What happens when you pop it in?

taterjane: nothing

Cjay: nothing at all… hmm that’s odd, at least windows media player should take over…

Cjay: Try launching WMP

In my usual way, I was busy doing two other things while ignoring everything Chris was saying. I looked for Sonique on my computer, which I had used successfully to play mp3s in the past. It wasn’t under Programs, or under the Start button. I hit the Desktop button. Nothing happened. Wait–there it went. And there was Sonique. I opened up the program, cleared my playlist, and tried to open the CD.

taterjane: now i’m trying to use sonique and it just keeps saying: please insert disk into drive. It’s already in there…

It occurred to me that I should spend some time looking into the advice Chris had given me, instead of sending a barrage of questions and complaints to him without reading any of his responses. Hastily, I typed:

taterjane: i got to look for windows media player

to explain why I’d just jumped to my own program instead of following his advice.

Cjay: hmm, perhaps drive is not being recognized… check windows explorer and make sure drive is listed…

Coincidentally, I happened to open up Windows Explorer as Chris’s message came over. According to Windows Explorer, I had no CD in the drive. I popped open the drive and pushed the CD around in the slot, and closed the drive again.

Sonique was still open, and suddenly music began playing. But according to Sonique, it wasn’t playing anything.

taterjane: i popped it out and put it back in and now it’s playing but i have no idea what it’s using to play!!

The CD was playing from the beginning, but I wanted to start on Track 4, where I’d left off. If I couldn’t find the program playing it, how was I supposed to know how to advance the tracks?

taterjane: i don’t know how to forward it…

Cjay: forward?

taterjane: skip tracks

I double-clicked on the CD drive in Windows Explorer. Windows Media Player opened.

taterjane: oh i guess it’s using wmp

Cjay: Oh, hmm… look in the tool tray, maybe the player is there

taterjane: nope nothing in tool tray. this is very curious

Oddly, Windows Media Player also denied all knowledge of the CD being played. It was willing to play it, but gave me an error message: THIS FORMAT NOT SUPPORTED.

taterjane: nope, windows wants to play it but isn’t currently playing it. So what… is playing?

Cjay: how odd

Cjay: look on the DVD drive itself, sometimes they have skip buttons on them

My computer tower is located far to the right, and I can’t see any of the buttons on the front of it. I randomly pushed a few buttons by the CD drive. The song stopped and a new one started up.

taterjane: well, it did something. This is retarded

taterjane: wmp says it can’t play it.

By now, I was sick of my computer. I had no idea what track was playing or what program was playing it, and I just wanted it all to stop. But how to stop it?

taterjane: can i just eject to stop?

Cjay: just, eject away

Now I remember why I only listen to CDs in the car.

Posted by: ssjane | July 7, 2005 | 4:14 pm
Posted in: This Life