Why Life Needs to Come With a TiVo Instant Replay Button
Last night Chris and I were in the midst of a semi-argument over the pros and cons of having a baby when Chris fell asleep. Evidently I had taken too long (approximately 10 seconds) to come up with my latest retort, and Chris had simply gotten tired of waiting.
Like everyone else in his family, Chris can fall asleep within five minutes of being quiet. Often when we visit his parents and end up in the “bad” room, located next door to his parents’ room, I will be in bed reading a book when I suddenly notice that his parents’ voices have stopped murmuring, and the buzzsaw snoring has commenced.
Both his parents snore, and often they snore in rhythm. They snore so loudly that not only do I stay awake all night listening to see if they have sleep apnea and stop breathing at the peak of each snore, but the walls also vibrate loudly with the noise.
Lately Chris has begun snoring. It began a month or two ago, when he complained that he didn’t have a cold but had something in his nose preventing him from breathing well.
Last night after he’d fallen asleep mid-argument (or “debate,” as he likes to call it), I lay in bed next to him listening to him snore. After what felt like half an hour, I’d had enough, and I nudged him to get him to stop snoring.
“You’re snoring,” I said to him.
Chris, who has the ability to wake up as quickly as he falls asleep, immediately answered in a clear, loud voice. “There’s no way I was snoring! I wasn’t even asleep yet!”
“Yeah, you were,” I said indignantly. “You’ve been asleep for like half an hour now! And snoring the whole time.”
“No,” he said firmly. He rolled over and looked at the clock. “It’s only midnight, and we came up to bed at 11:40. No way did I fall asleep.”
“You watched a Daily Show and a Colbert Report,” I countered. “Maybe you shut off the TV at 11:40, but there’s no way we got into bed twenty minutes ago.”
“Well, I still haven’t been snoring,” he said. “I’ve been awake the whole time!”
I gave up on arguing with him and went downstairs to use the bathroom. By the time I’d come back upstairs, Chris was asleep and snoring again.
Posted by: ssjane | April 18, 2006 | 3:59 pm
Posted in: This Life