The Bean’s Schedule: January 9, 2007

8:30 AM: Lie in bed until Daddy whisks off my blanket and carries me outside, while those dirty rotten boys scamper about on the ground. How common of them to actually walk with their feet.

8:35 AM: Pee on grass. Walk back into the garage and wait for those stupid boys to pee all over my pee spot.

8:40 AM: Get back in the house, accept a treat from Daddy, debate whether or not I want to eat it, and possibly eat it.

8:45 AM - 10:30 AM: Sleep in a blanket.

10:35 AM: Hear faint noises, gradually getting louder as they approach me. Suddenly, my blanket is whipped off. I am naked! Oh, it’s just Mommy.

10:40 AM: Walk around the garage until Mommy tosses me outside. Perhaps I will pee, perhaps I will poop. Or I may just stand here gazing blankly at the back yard.

10:50 AM - 10:51 AM: Watch the greedy boys gobble down their breakfast.

11:00 AM: Hmm, maybe I should take a look at the food.

11:02 - 11:15 AM: Maybe the food will change to pieces of steak if I stare at it and at Mommy long enough.

11:20 AM: All right, fine, I’ll take a few bites.

11:35 AM: Okay, I picked all the good stuff out. You may remove my bowl now, servant.

11:40 AM: Bark! Bark! Bark! So what if Mommy’s on a conference call; I think I might have heard a FedEx truck outside!

11:50 AM: Oddly, the door to my room where Mommy works is now shut. I guess I’ll sit in the windowsill and keep an eye out for more — BARK! BARK!! BARK!!!

12:30 PM: Carry chickie upstairs. Walk around room looking for a place to put the chick. At last, I settle upon my portable pet home, where there is already a koala bear in the corner. I deposit the chickie in the portable pet home, and then I walk around the room looking for a place for me to nap. A mother needs time away from her children, you know.

1:00 PM: I hear Mommy calling. I hear the boys stampeding downstairs. They must be getting some kind of treat from Mommy.

1:05 PM: I poke my head out of the blanket. I take a few steps. Oh, good, here comes Mommy now with my treat, and I didn’t even have to get completely out of bed! What is it today? Mozzarella cheese? I might eat it. Let me roll it around the blanket with my head first.

1:10 - 2:05 PM: Another trip outside and then back to…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..

2:10 PM: I walk up to Mommy in her computer chair. I grumble at her. Thankfully, she isn’t retarded today, and understands in record time (only 5 minutes today) that she is supposed to pick me up.

Posted by: ssjane | January 9, 2007 | 2:21 pm
Posted in: Dogs