Meeting Strangers Can Be Fun

Chris and I were on the road to his parents’ house when his cell phone rang.

“Must be your parents,” I said. Without exception, his parents call us every time we’re driving to their house, as if they secretly suspect we’ve found a more exciting place to visit along the way. This has never happened, but mostly because there are no exciting places on these particular roads.

Chris glanced quickly at the phone. “No, it’s a 617 area code.”

“Hello?” he said into the phone.

He paused.

“One minute,” he said, and handed the phone to me.

I didn’t know who would be calling me on his cell, and I could tell Chris was wondering if I’d given out his number instead of mine as a contact number for something strange I had signed up for. Because I do that, and quite frequently.

“Hello?” I said.

“Jane, it’s John Shumacher and I’m sorry it took so long to get back to you,” a man’s voice said.

“Who are you?” I asked. This may have been a bit impolite, but I do not like talking on the phone and I wanted to make this conversation as brief as possible.

“I’m sorry, it’s just been crazy here lately,” he said. “Do you know who I am?”

“No,” I said firmly. By now I’d had a chance to think about the past couple of weeks, and whether I’d left messages for anyone, and I had come to the conclusion that I did not know a John Shumacher.

“I’m Matt’s middle school math teacher,” I thought I heard him say.

The only thing I could think to say was, “We don’t have any children.”

He said again, “I’m John Shumacher?” as if that would change anything.

I said again, “But we don’t have kids.” Then it hit me. This was a wrong number! Thank god, because I was beginning to suspect that I’d had an illegitimate child and actually forgotten about it.

“I think you have the wrong number,” I told him.

“Is this – “ and he rattled off Chris’s cell phone number.

“Yes,” I said.

“So I assume you’re not the Murphys?”

“DEFINITELY not,” I said quickly. I wondered if I should spell my last name for him, just for emphasis, but opted against it.

He apologized and hung up. I hung up, having never been more relieved to receive a wrong number.

Posted by: ssjane | September 15, 2007 | 1:59 pm
Posted in: This Life