Tivo-Blogging Britney Spears

10:30 pm: I turn on the Tivo and cue up tonight’s episode of “How I Met Your Mother.” Just as I hit play, someone calls Chris on Skype.

10:32 pm: I stop to put on headphones. I can still hear Chris talking to his friend about some computer game.

10:33 pm: I hit pause on the Tivo, and realize that blogging a half-hour tv show will take me hours, if I have to hit pause every few minutes to write down something on the computer. I decide to switch to AIM and IM Chris my very deep thoughts so that I can simply copy my chat history. Lest you think I am being an unkind wife, I warn him ahead of time to ignore everything I type during this half-hour.

10:35 pm: Boy, they sure didn’t waste any time getting Britney on the screen. She looks surprisingly thin.

10:36 pm: I discover that AIM is not logging my chat history. I usually use Trillian, but this laptop only has AIM because I can never remember my Trillian info. I spend 10 minutes looking up directions on how to enable logging in AIM, and then another 5 repeatedly searching for the Edit -> Settings. I give up and upgrade my AIM software.

10:56:37 PM: Success! No problem finding Edit -> Settings now. Back to the episode.

cjayaim (10:56:45 PM): congrats

10:57:19 PM: My husband has apparently forgotten that he is supposed to ignore what I’m typing.

10:57:45 PM: Sarah Chalke is also guest starring. I will forever remember her as New Hot Becky from Roseanne.

10:59:28 PM: Ted and Sarah Chalke are going on a date. She is very likeable. Ted is still lame, continuing the progression of shows in which the side characters are far more interesting than the main ones (c.f. Will and Grace).

11:01:24 PM: New AIM already wants me to install a crucial security update. Why they couldn’t just add it to the current version to be downloaded, I don’t know.

11:01:53 PM: Alyson Hannigan’s hair gets darker with every episode. Willow, where have you gone?!?

11:02:23 PM: Ted has just screamed like a girl. A very loud, shrill girl.

11:02:40 PM: Speaking of which, Britney has her first line. She does not have any comic timing whatsoever.

11:03:15 PM: I rewind to watch Britney’s first line again. Yup, her timing still sucks.

11:03:40 PM: I pause to let Mina onto my lap.

11:03:48 PM: I pause to let Stanley onto my lap.

11:04:08 PM: He sits exactly where I want the laptop to go.

11:04:42 PM: Then he accidentally sits on Mina. Barking ensues.

11:05:40 PM: Britney needs to study the fine timing of Neil Patrick Harris. Doogie Howser, how far you’ve come.

11:06:40 PM: Britney’s skin is remarkably clear. Maybe I should start wearing makeup.

11:07:38 PM: Britney’s doing better. I can almost believe her as an awkward receptionist.

11:09:00 PM: This plot is pretty lame and appears to be solely for the benefit of working Britney Spears into a TV sitcom — no, not the live one she stars in every day.

11:09:48 PM: Something about Britney’s facial expression is a little…off.

11:10:43 PM: Best line so far: Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) tells Ted, “Every little boy wants to grow up to nail the doctor or the lawyer. Somebody’s got to nail the receptionist.”

11:10:59 PM: Why can’t this be the Barney Show?

11:14:53 PM: I can’t figure out if Britney’s receptionist is supposed to be becoming less anxious as the show progresses or if Britney has forgotten who she’s playing.

11:16:02 PM: Marshall = funny

11:16:18 PM: Marshall and Barney Show!

11:17:58 PM: Huh. A deep development. Sarah Chalke’s character has a daughter. Hmm…are they setting her up to be the mother, aka Ted’s future wife?

11:18:28 PM: Go, Ted! Go! Go after Sarah Chalke! But not in a creepy, stalker-ish way, please.

11:18:52 PM: They are cute together. And Sarah Chalke reminds me a bit of Buffy in this outfit.

11:19:43 PM: Nice…they’re having a two-minute date. Literally.

11:20:38 PM: I cannot figure out what Ted is saying. Only in foreign parts? Only in four parts?

11:22:22 PM: Ted tells Sarah Chalke’s character to give him a call if she ever has time to date.

11:22:30 PM: And….they bring back Britney.

11:23:25 PM: Now she’s talking too fast. Britney, go back to singing…or lip-syncing. She’s just speaking a bit too fast to be taken as awkward.

11:24:26 PM: Britney looks normal-size now. I think the publicity pictures of her guest-starring role were slenderized.

11:25:57 PM: Show ends. Verdict: Not bad for such a minor role, but the part could have been played better. She didn’t embarrass herself like at the VMAs, but I’m pretty sure she’ll never have a career as a serious actress.

Posted by: ssjane | March 24, 2008 | 10:40 pm
Posted in: Entertainment/News