Escape Artist

Missing Since: 7 AM Feb 19 2001
Clues: The Poopy
Found: 7:30 AM Feb 19 2001

At 7 AM, Pedro escaped.

Normally he was locked up with the other dogs in their pen, where they were held overnight to prevent the “Potty Accident” curse from striking. Though the other two were clamoring to be released for the morning Pee Ritual, all that remained of Pedro’s existence was a pile of poop, conspicuously left by the door as an insult to his captors. Statements were taken from both of the remaining captives as they could not have missed seeing the fugitive escape.

Paco: I dunno wot you’re talkin’ about. I seen nuttin’ at all. Nuttin’, I tell you.

Mina: Why does this lowly miscreant deserve such attention? Have you not seen that I have not yet been fed today? This is intolerable!

Paco: So wot if maybe I seen sumpin. I ain’t rattin’ on nobody, I tell you. Nobody!

Mina: Hello? Are there no impoverished, minimum-wage workers here? Where is my meal? My vittles? Grub? Piece of kibble?

Paco: Dis here is my bruddah you be talkin’ about. I don’t rat on — wait, is that delectable smell coming from our breakfast?

Mina: At last! Someone is finally paying some attention to me! Shovel that right here, buddy!

Paco: All right, all right, you broke me! You happy now, punk? He jumped out early…through dat crack in da gate…(munch, munch)

A careful search of the perimeter revealed the missing prisoner, happily jumping and stomping his front feet in excitement around the Pokemon terrain. Upon receiving a stern reprimand from the heartless captors, Pedro was sufficiently cowed and quickly trotted back through the gap and into his pen.

Further investigation by the State Commission Against Gaps is pending.